Monday’s are pretty quiet in my house. No video games on, no YouTube playing videos, no playdates, no messes to clean up…just silence.
Which leaves me wondering a whole bunch of Whys?.
Why is it then in the mix of all the hustle and bustle of the weekend do I just want some peace and quiet and then when the peace and quiet comes I just want my kids to be back at home.
Why can I not just relax and enjoy the chaos of the weekends?
Why do have to have 5000 tabs open and processing in my brain all at once?
Why do Mamas have so much on their never ending To Do lists?
Why? Why? Why?
Mamas don’t get days off; especially if you are a Mama like me. I do not know how to relax or shut off my brain. Trust me I wish every day I could. I think I would choose this to be my super power.
I love having my kids at home and they are at an age now where they are pretty self sufficient, but I still feel the need to hold on and be a part of their lives in any way I can. The problem with this is that I have a hard time letting go and just doing my own thing on the evenings and weekends. I never want to miss anything.
I preach self care in all my programs, yet I don’t always practice what I preach.
How do I learn to let go and have my own life? How do I learn not to feel shame, when I am not giving my kids my time? Am I normal? Do other Mamas feel this way?
I believe the answer is yes.
I believe that I am not alone in this and that millions of Mamas all over the world are hanging on to their babies for as long as they possibly can. There should be no shame in it.
Being a Mama is not easy mentally. Some days it can be mentally exhausting. We do the best we can with the tools we have on hand. I am right here in the thick of it with all of you. I am trying to feel my way around and hope I don’t fuck it all up!
A part of being a healthy Mama is realizing when you are not taking care of yourself and when you need to refocus and spend a little bit of time reflecting on you.
This is me after this weekend. I spent all weekend stressing about everything and I mean EVERYTHING! I know I was not enjoying the moments with the kids.
How to solve this?
There is no right or wrong answer and I guess if I had all the answers I would be writing a whole different kind of blog post. So until then, I will keeping questioning and keep striving to be a better version of me.
Amy Bowers xo